I also believe that Therapy may help you. I'd consider it - if you can afford it, of course! If you can't, perhaps there are some self-help books that may help you. I am sure that there must be something about Trauma and Grief. Take a look and see which ones are getting the best reviews or which ones look like the most interesting and useful TO YOU! I believe there may be some YouTube Videos about the subject so give it a look perhaps! I am sorry I can't be more helpful as I don't have a lot of useful advice to give myself! In any case, I Hope and Pray that you'll feel better REALLY soon! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Imokay2, your Family, your Friends, your Therapists and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!