I am going freakin' nuts! It's problems with one guy after another. There are 3 @ss***** around me: one is a stalker, one sexually assaulted me two years ago, and the third basically assaulted me with a dang banana recently. I have to be near them because we are all in the same living situation, if you know what I mean. I have been PTSD'ing, getting more depressed, and have alot of attitude right now! I am almost hoping for confrontation for the chance to Beach and let out some frustration and anger. I could get an order of protection from my stalker, but I am hoping he will do something more before I go to the police. I know, that's crazy thinking--I should do something now. All it might take is for him to say something to me, I don't know. I'm not motivated to do anything right now. I don't care about school or job searching. I don't care about eating. I'm going back--okay, have already gone back--to losing weight, taking diet pills, etc., and I don't care how much I lose. I know it's wrong. I already told my T in a letter. I even told him that I lied to him. Part of me wants to grow up and be "normal" and I know that I need to, but I always fall back on these habits when I've had enough of life or when my weight is higher than I like it. Lately, it's been both. I have no one to talk to other than my T. That's not for another week, and due to my financial situation it could end again then. I just saw him last week, my first time since October. I could use him more often. I could use a lot of things.