My mood has been great the last few days. Not too up, and certainly not depressed. My Mum and T think I’m a bit hypomanic because I’m happy and chatty. I don’t know. I feel normal. My thoughts are all over the place but calm. My concentration and memory have tanked. Think that’s the meds though.

As my eyes are getting blurry I am coming off of of Haloperidol. This sucks as it has been the best med for me while in this state.

If I repeat myself in posts I apologise.

My memory is cactus now. Probably the meds mixed with PTSD. It’s getting embarrassing though. I keep forgetting if I took my meds and when the nurse comes to remind me I feel sure I already had them. Notes are checked and it’s clear I was given them. This has happened 3 times in the last few days.

Today I feel a bit better. Hopefully this means I am on the mend and will have a calm mind, and joy filled heart soon. Today will be long if I can’t concentrate to read. A friend who is over from the UK is picking me up to go for sunset swim. It will be 42’C (around 110’F for US people).

If it weren’t for the fact I need to be in hospital to wait for the injection on Tuesday I could possibly go home by Saturday. My pdoc is not convinced. He wants to see a stable pattern first. I suspect he is worried I am faking being better to get out and harm myself. That is not my headspace st all.

So if my illness behave I could be discharged as early as next Wednesday. I don’t want to rush out like last time and be struggling intensely after discharge. Still, I am so so bored. Grey carpets, and white walls is all I see mostly. I have a beautiful view of the first floor roof from my window. Yo get some exercise I walk around the hospital. Unfortunately, I got told off for fast pacing down the halls as I was stressing out some patients. Now I pace in my room. Even dance st times. This makes me happy.