I think I would just call for a total Time out.

No more talk about any of this stuff until it’s all addressed through Sessions with a Therapist.

I think you need time to just process everything and pick it all apart and see if there has been a pattern and maybe he’s been grooming you to slowly accept everything without looking at the big picture. Yes I agree Frog in a pot and heating up

I think seeing a Therapist your self might be helpful, you need to make sure your still being true to yourself... lines can get blurry when one person what’s more of something than the other.