Hmmmm

Well, I think I have to agree with Pink, Perna and Jello (sounds like a rock group), with one slight exception.

I don't have faith or hope that this will move me forward but I love T and trust his judgment here. Sigh.

I am not afraid of being jealous, just afraid of being lost. I know and accept his other clients, even the %#@&#! who sits in the chair before me on Thursdays. All right, well, I don't have to accept her. But, my big fear is that I will no longer exist in the group. I barely exist outside of a group, and in a group setting I don't do real well. I go into my head. Maybe he knows that. He did say that he thought it would be good for me to experience caring from others in a group setting. I think I will have to explore these feelings with him before I lose him to the group!

The weird, sad thing here is that it feels like something that is inevitable. The feeling that comes up is a longing for the phone calls I used to have with him when he was on his way home and he called me from his car. I used to feel special.