Quote:
Originally Posted by whatever2013
Boiling in poisonous shame over things i said and did in my hypomania this Fall. Muttering to myself what a stupid b!t(h i am, what an asshole, what an idiot. Overeating and oversleeping. Unwashed. Home is a dump. No food in the kitchen. Living on junk from the convenience store. Down a dark hole again. Thought my new regimen of less Seroquel and more Lamictal would save me from depression again but it appears not.
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I obviously don't know you very well, but I just had to respond to this. I actually had so much trouble with shame that I finally took a course on Shame Resilience. What you are doing right here with this post is one of the four pillars of shame resilience--you are reaching out to others, rather than isolating and hiding. So, good job!
I am sorry you are suffering, but saying mean and hypercritical things to and about yourself will not help. Please try to recognize when you are being mean to yourself and try to moderate or, even better, eliminate it. It just produces more toxic shame.
Sending you positive self-talk and support. I hope your day gets better.