My husband and I have been married for 2 years, together for 6. Communication has always been our weakness. We are both stubborn and it takes a long time for one of us to crack and start the conversation.

We’ve been in a stand off for the past month, neither of us really knowing why. We both have very opposite schedules so by the time we’re home together we often don’t have the energy to get into it, so we just ignore it, and the wedge grows further.

Tonight we finally opened up and talked about a lot of things. As it turns out we have both been building resentment toward each other and feeling hurt in the exact same way, but about opposite behaviors. We talked for hours, it was very civil and felt good to open up to each other. But we both are at the conclusion that as much as we are alike, we have grown into very different people. On a core level we have a lot in common, but with our day to day lives and interests we are opposite. We rarely find things we both like to do and this all feeds into us going months without having a real heart to heart and sharing feelings. It’s lonely for both of us. We talked about what divorce would look like and if we’re willing to fight for what we once had.

Ultimately, we don’t have an answer right now. We are both unhappy. We live separate lives and sleep next to each other. But the thought of divorce without really trying breaks my heart.

Any advice on how to reconnect with your partner when you feel like you have nothing in common anymore? Or how to find the energy to fight for each other? We don’t want to drag a dead marriage on for no reason but we haven’t given up yet.