Hello Lovebooks: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to Psych Central.

I don't know as there would be much of anything I could suggest with regard to this other than to seek the services of the mental health therapist with whom you can explore what is causing you to do what you do. The likelihood is there is something, or some things, in your past that are at the root of your insecurities. But figuring out what those things are, & what to do about them, is something that is going to take time & effort as well as (probably) the help of an experienced mental health professional.

Having written that though here are links to 7 articles, from Psych Central's archives, that (hopefully) may be of help with putting your situation into perspective:

One-Night Stands: 5 Shocking Facts About the Science of Hooking Up

How to Overcome Feeling Insecure and Needy in Your Relationships | Happily Imperfect

Healing from Emotional Abandonment, Shame, and Unworthiness | Happily Imperfect

Do you know your own insecurities? | Unleash Your Creativity

Boundaries: Learn How to Stand Your Ground

Women and Self Esteem

https://psychcentral.com/blog/womens...s-from-within/

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.