Thank you, downandlonely and whatdoesitmean. You give wise and compassionate advice. I've finally been able to forgive myself for other things I've done, and to finally forgive others for the harm they caused me, bit this one cropped back up after I thought I had put it behind me, and it's weighing on me. I try to remind myself that even God doesn't have power over the past, and that I did it because at the time I saw no other way to stop the pain. I try to make it useful by being able to show understanding for others who are feeling that same way and trying to bring them comfort and support. Perhaps this guilt is my just punishment. I just have to make sure that it doesn't paralyze me as other emotions have. I have to make positive use of it.

Hugs to both of you!