Hi Rosewater,

I am so sorry for how you feel. Suicide is a permanent "solution" for a temporary problem. It's not your situation that's making you suicidal, it's your mind. Please don't do anything drastic. I am glad you are at Psychcentral Forums. You'll find a lot of support here. Can you please tell us if you have any friends and family US? Anyone you can talk to?

Also, can you share what scenario/situation that you'd like to be in right now?