I thought about you the other night because I came across a documentary on REELS (a channel I have on the TV service I get) about the making of "Gone With the Wind". In watching that documentary about how much went into making that movie, I now have a lot more respect for that movie. The producer David O. Selznick had so many challenges with that movie and even had a break down and had to step away for a bit, but he did go back to finish that movie. That movie is most definitely a classic and the reason it will always be regarded highly is because of how well it captures "humanity". One thing that will always be "trending" will be works that portray "humanity". Yet, when all a person gets to see is the final product, there is so much that goes into that final product that is often truely remarkable that so many don't see unless, like what I watched there is a documentary that shows all the work and creative aspects that went into that final product.

It was totally amazing how these different individuals were able to create things that look SO REAL but are not real at all. I found it incredible how these individuals were able to create what they did considering the technology they had at the time, nothing compared to what we have now. It was also pointed out how even the colors they used in the skies were to add to the mood of what was being portrayed in that movie. Then there are the amazing incredibly talented individuals that create the music throughout the picture as well. So, in essence there is so much of Humanity behind this incredible portrayl of Humanity. The thing about a piece that turns out so amazinly incredible like this is that for those who partake in creating it, everything they work on "after" this amazing piece tends to be judged by this one amazing piece of work. So was the case for Selznick, yet he managed to maintain his desire to continue creating and producing other works/movies.

One of the things I learned when I was on stage as a lead singer was not so much me being the center of attention, but, how what I did on that stage could affect the entire mood of the room/space I was entertaining in. I remember us getting a job in a really nice place and how that first night I sang our repertoire of songs and the lounge was pretty crowded and after I sang a piece, even several pieces the audience did not react, but just stood staring. It was a bit un-nerving because I had no idea if the audience liked me or not. When I did sing though, I did sing from my heart and felt the songs. When that night was over I really did not know if the audience liked me or not. Well, apparently they did like me because the next time I sang and performed, it was even more crowded. Honestly, I just tried to focus on the music, feeling each song and trying to fill the room with how I felt about that song. I had no idea THAT is important and was the reason more people came to see me and the band I was in. I did not have any training that expressed what all these years later I finally realized came naturally to me. I had no idea the silence I had experienced that had been confusing was not that I was not liked, but that I was different and it would take time for these people to think about this "different". A good performer (artist) embraces the humanity in whatever they are performing (creating) and touches the humanity in others with it. Blanche, that is what is ALWAYS trending and is what makes any creation "timeless".

When you interacted with that instructor, you teared up and showed her your humanity. Her response was "you really do want this". She GOT IT Blanche, and then you walked away and cried, you released your humanity (((Blanche))) when you did that. In fact, because you shared that, you touched the humanity in others who can relate to experiencing something like that themselves.

I think toxic people are individuals who like to attack the humanity in others because they are terrified of showing whatever humanity they hide within themselves. Yet, also there are individuals who never develop the ability to connect with the humanity in others as well.

When I shared with you that I may have dealt with how that room mate approached you that night differently. I was trying to share with you how I may have taken that opportunity to connect with her humanity. Sometimes, another person manages to open a very small doorway/invitation to often their very fragile humanity. Sometimes being able to recognize that and embrace that can end up being fruitful, and sometimes not, but at least an effort can be made. This instructer was able to do that with you and you revealed your humanity to her. You were hurt 25 years ago and you ran away and shut that door, not very different than what that room mate did. Something happened to her that caused her to break down and disconnect with humanity.

What I often struggle with when it comes to my older sister and how badly she triggers me, is no matter how hard I try, I cannot connect with her humanity. She got so dark that it was painful to go anywhere near her. Once someone shows they are not afraid to lie and they create drama to hurt and intimidate or solicit a response they can use to their advantage, it's no longer healthy to experience their presence.

You encountered a Dung Beetle and you were at a loss in knowing what it was and how to deal with it. They will be the type that feeds on crap and they often will choose to use your humanity against you. Often these individuals do end up having some power, yet, it's not because they are "good", but instead it's more because they can bury crap 250 times heavier than themselves. They don't care to care Blanche. And yes, that can have a very challenging affect on many people, ofcourse, except to those who also thrive on DUNG.