I just want to give up. I am tired of people saying "If you just do....." thinking that somehow will magically make me better. Everytime I have tried to seek help from a therapist it has eventually ended badly. My last one said he couldn't help me and recommended IOP. The IOP facility, which I paid a lot of money for, ended up calling the cops. No one wants to treat my MANY problems as a whole. I'm suicidal because I'm depressed. I'm depressed because I'm suicidal. In patient only wants to "keep me safe". They don't want to treat my depression and suicide. Those hospitals are very traumatizing to me. Yet I'm told the only way I can get better is if I check myself into a hospital. Due to government regulations if I do this I will lose my job. My wife keeps pushing for it though. Even though she knows how I feel about it. Would you tell a rape victim "The only way you can get better is if you go back and live with your rapist."? I am just ready to quit. No understands that i am broken beyond repair. Maybe at 1 point I wasn't, but now I have been broken and smashed into so many pieces that there is no way for me to be put back together.