I hear you. I suffer from severe depression and bi-polar as well. I had a government job that required a security clearance. So, secrecy about my condition/s was very important if I wanted to maintain my high paying job. I wake up thinking about dying and I go to bed thinking about dying. I could not use my government provided medical insurance without divulging I was seeing a therapist. So, I went to see a doctor (for cash, no insurance) that evaluated me and put me on two medications called Samphris and Lithium. After going to about 10 sessions over a period of 10 weeks, I was diagnosed as MDD and Bi-polar I. I had deep seated emotions about an abusive childhood, alcoholic parents and sexual abuse. My therapist keep going back to work problems that I was having and was trying to get me to say I wanted to hurt people I worked with. I am not stupid, I know where that bus was going... straight to compulsory treatment for an unspecified period of time. Which would also make me loose my job. While it was true I had deep seated emotions against some supervisors; I only fantasized about it in my head. I would never act on those emotions. I was ONLY a danger to myself! My whole adult life my friends have told me NEVER, EVER go to a shrink because it never ends well. I agreed to go to a facility to help me when I was as close to offing myself as I have ever been. It was voluntary after all. After I checked in, they took away almost all of my personal possessions I had brought with me. Instantly, I realized I had been duped by my therapist. I had entered a "lock-down" facility and was treated just short of being incarcerated (but all the exit doors were locked). I lied my way out of there giving the therapist all the answers he was looking to hear. The very next day after getting out of treatment I woke up in a hospital ICU with a breathing machine attached to me and my wrists tied to the arm rails of my hospital bed . You can fill in the blank! I felt totally defeated and betrayed by the very people I sought help from. I like your rape victim analogy very much. Everyone around you say's things like, "Just tough it out" or "There, there it can't be all that bad". You have probably seen an old saying, "Once I gave up all hope, things got better". You are NEVER, EVER too broken or broken beyond repair. Sometimes the answer is to just find a reason to exist. Or, to put one foot in front of the other and keep going for someone else. Trust me, no matter how screwed up you think you are... there is always someone else worst off! Take care, and find a reason... my friend!