Thank you for this thread. I have a story almost identical with my father also being an alcoholic and a narcissist. It was especially difficult for me to accept that he didn’t understand the weight of his actions and how they are affecting us. After praying for him, pleading with him, and asking his own siblings to step in; I had to accept that he will not change if he doesn’t want to. Every effort to try and put a mirror in front of him will be met with defense, rage and much slander.

He is still alive and that is because of God’s Grace. But currently I don’t reply to his text messages because he only sends them when he is drunk and they are manipulative and offensive. My mother and sister still fall for his tricks and end up giving him money. But again - that is their decision and they will be the ones who have to live with it. I have also accepted that he will never be the father I had when I was growing up who was my hero in all things. He is another man now because of his addiction. And he is comfortable with who he is (until he decides it’s enough). So I look for healthy father figures; I have one who I found on a YouTube and I watch his videos often. I also am spiritual so I treat God as my father and that brings me the greatest comfort and love I have ever experienced in my life!!

So detachment has worked for me because I told myself I deserve to be respected because I respect myself. I decided to quit alcohol April 2018 because I was on the same destructive path as my father. So I’m close to 2 years clean. There is so much light even in the midst of the chaos living with an alcoholic brings. You just have to believe that you deserve the peace and then start making healthy changes in your life to attract goodness.

This is my first post on this forum and I chose this thread specifically because it’s so close to my heart. I have been so blessed by all the responses. Thank you Skeezy for the links to the articles!