I'm sorry you are struggling with this. I'm not a mental health professional. But I want to say emphatically that, in my opinion, you are not a stalker or a pedophile, you're not a danger to society, and you most certainly don't deserve to die!

Perhaps you are struggling with some anxiety? Perhaps you have some OCD-like traits? That's for a mental health professional to determine. But whatever it is that is causing you to have the experiences you're having, it's not something to be overly concerned about. It's just something to work through in a calm matter-of-fact way. We all experience the kinds of intrusive thoughts you've had. It's a part of being human. But thoughts are just thoughts. They don't make you any of the things you're concerned about.

You mentioned you're going to be seeing a psychiatrist to talk about this. And that is certainly a good step to take. I'm glad you're taking positive steps to address your concerns. I don't know, of course, where you live or how mental health services are delivered there. But, where I live, about all psychiatrists do is to prescribe & monitor psychiatric medications. All in-depth discussion of mental-health-related concerns is left to mental health therapists. Should you find this to be the case where you live, you may want to consider finding a mental health therapist with whom you can delve more deeply into the experiences you've had.

Here are links to 4 articles, from Psych Central's archives, that offer tips for coping with obsessive thoughts:

Coping with Obsessive Thoughts

5 Ways to Free Yourself From Dark and Obsessive Thoughts

Some Ideas to Help Stop Obsessing

Why Can't I Shut Off My Mind?

My best wishes to you...