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*Beth* · Dec 16, 2019 at 06:02 PM

I hate when someone asks about my holiday plans, any holiday, including my birthday. I think it's thoughtless, because it might be really triggering to someone if something bad has happened on a particular holiday. For example, my mom used to try to make huge holiday feasts, decorate, and so on. Her intentions were wonderful, but because she was severely mentally ill

Possible trigger:

she went crazy during the holiday season, doing things like setting the kitchen curtains on fire, breaking dishes, throwing dishes of food all around, and so on. And she and my step-father fought during the holidays, beat up on each other, broke things, abused me viciously...and it predictably ended with my mom locking herself in the bathroom, screaming that she was going to kill me, my stepfather, and then herself...anyway...

it would finally end when the cops would show up. Bottom line,
the holidays are a highly charged time for me and the last thing I want to do is talk about them in the middle of the grocery store or at the dentist or something. Plus, my birthday is in December so...anyway, I just say, "Not much, really" and change the subject.

I know people ask just to make conversation, but the holidays are not something I want to visit much.