Yes Christina, this kind of challenge can get overwhelming and the members who are posting are concerned for her. After all, she has been with her husband for a long time and since they were very young too. I believe her in that she never expected to face this kind of challenge. She decided to see if he would really do it and found out that not only did he prove he would but that he liked it and did not show any signs of regret but instead is thinking about what he can do next.

This isn't something that has not happened before when it comes to men and even some women for that matter. Actually, there is a connection between accomplishment and gaining ability to obtain resources and status and experiencing strong desires to mate. This is a driving force in nature itself. People feel these impulses and have come up with so many different ways to relieve them or engage them not even knowing the true source of why these feelings and drives are happening in the first place.

My input in response to your problem has tried to touch on the fact that men actually have engaged in exhibiting women in different ways and that this really isn't something new. Actually, you can go to any library and find a book of early art and see paintings of women in the nude and even in different poses. Also, marriages were arranged with great consideration of maintaining wealth and resourses when there was not real sexual attraction at all and often that was something these individuals took care of elsewhere. This is exactly what took place with Prince Charles who never really loved Diana but instead lusted after Camilla who was not a woman that would have been approved of when it came to selecting a Royal wife.

Actually, Jacklyn Kennedy had to learn how to accept the fact that her husband would engage in having extra marital affairs. It was said that it was his mother who sat her down and explained to her how this is something she had to learn how to accept as was the case with Kennedy's mother who's husband had many of these daliances with other women.

I recently watched a documentary where a man decided to write a book about how from an early age he serviced all kinds of sexual fantasies of different individuals including many of the movie stars of his time that certainly had all different kinds of sexual fantasies kept hidden from the way Hollywood wanted these individuals to be seen as in overall society. Even in Hollywood marriages were arranged to make these individuals appear to be normal and capable of being devoted husband's and wives.

Ok, you are experiencing something you had not expected. This isn't unheard of and there could have been different unexpected's, like finding out he likes men too, or he has some other kind of fetish you are shocked by. What IS important when dealing with this as a couple is making sure the two of you consider the affect engaging in these fantasies can have on your family now. It's not just the two of you now, your choices can have an affect on your family, your social well being, and even how he is seen at his job. Lots of people have sexual fantasies, it's part of being human. However, just because a person has sexual fantasies, it doesn't mean they should act on them and it is important to sit and really consider the consequences. Consequences are things that can happen that are beyond one's control. Right now your husband is thinking about engaging his fantasies and he is not thinking about the consequences. That is a significant red flag and it's good that you decided to reach out about this challenge, it's clear you don't want to end up having something bad happen because of this kind of behavior he wants you to partake in. It's very concerning that he even talked about getting paid to engage in risky behaviors, that too is an important red flag. Is he ok and willing to exploit you? That's very concerning Noname.