Hey @Noname1987: I am sorry if you feel judged. I know when I feel passionately or strongly about something I can come across as harsh or blunt. I do my best to say that before I post so the OP wont see any malice in what I say. I do not feel you are judged here. I see people very concerned for you and a lot of red flags. Think about it: What would you say to a friend who was in the same situation?
Another point that @LonelyMan brought up is the consent of the man involved. if you were to agree to this then I suggest you use an app or site tailored to stuff like that. I think there is one called (adult friend something) and even though it has sections for swingers I am sure there is one for this type of thing. The reason I suggest this is because you are getting the consent of the third party.
Consent is everywhere and all over the news now due to the #Metoo movement and pervasive sexual assault and harassment. Consent is something you give before an even like that happens..not during (which puts pressure on the third party) and not after when the person feels pressured to make it ok or hears excuses from one of the other persons involved. This friend of your husband also didnt know you consented so what could he think? And your husband gave him permission and its hard to not be awkward when in the middle of that type of thing. If the friend flips out and walks away he looks like a **** and is sort of insulting. If he watches he gets turned on or confused. And he said he would never let his girl do that or let another man see her naked so how would that affect the way he sees you?
I understand the way you feel after this event occurred. It may have been thrilling and maybe inside you want this too but it seems like you are thinking about it a lot. And that isnt something most people do when they are ok with something. When they are ok with something the do it and move on. But when they are not ok with something there is major thinking before and major second thoughts/rumination after.
I do not think your husband is a monster. I do not doubt your love for each other. But tons of people are capable of ignoring the needs or hurting those the treasure the most.
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President of the no F's given society.
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