i do feel bad posting this asking for advice as i'm not fit to be giving any in return tonite but..i don't know where my head's at atm and i can't think straight myself ya know?

so anyway...i've already agreed to go stay with my sis tomorrow for a few days but i'm not keen for a few reasons.

one is i've not seen her in over 7 yrs, that was just a flying visit that ended in a major row...and that was the also the first time i'd seen her in over 7 yrs too.

i don't know her kids or her house...which makes me nervous just to think about coz i'm agoraphobic, have ptsd and am having a really rough time atm.

she's also having DV probs with her ex and i don't mean to sound selfish but i don't want caught up in the middle of violence.

i also desperately need to see my doctor coz these rollercoaster moodswings are driving me insane...and they gotta be getting on everybody elses nerves too? but if i go see my sis then it will be over a week from now , maybe a bit more, before i can see my doc.

so what i'm asking advice on is this...she's expecting me to arrive tomorrow evening. would it be wrong of me to cancel on her at the last minute? and if i do...she doesn't know anything about my mental health probs...what do i tell her? omg we haven't even spoke on the fone yet, just very sporadic e-mails when it's suited her...and that's another reason i'm nervous about going up there...she may be my sister but we didn't grow up together, i've barely seen her since my mid to late 20's...i don't know the woman!

any advice gratefully received. thanx.