GRACE: You're so wise! Yes, the first marriage must be with self. That's where we learn how to love and accept love, how to respect and earn respect, how to accept and be accepted.

DULCE: It isn't necessary to be with this man, in order to accept him. If you truly open your eyes and discover that he has no wish to change (and maybe 25 years tells you so), then you must accept him as he is --- and you will probably leave him because you want marriage and fidelity, things he rather obviously has not wanted.

Marriage is not everything either. Take it from a person who would target a potential husband, got exactly what she wanted each time, and lived to regret it. Someone once told me that I was a powerful person, because I always got a relationship I wanted. No, I was merely a naive, wilful and ignorant person. Nothing replaces sincere love and enthusiasm and respect which comes from the heart of the other person. Marriage doesn't give you any of those. It only creates the superficial appearance of sincerity.

You have my best wishes. My personal belief is that real love is rather effortless. It just happens. People accomodate each other because of that love. Am I a hopeless romantic?

Adieu