I tend to view things through a value based lens
I often ask myself 'what is the value for myself and others in doing this activity?' Sometimes there is value in spending some time reminding myself that I've made a mistake. Sometimes there is value in processing the anger I feel toward myself. Sometimes there is value in letting myself experience shame. These activities usually serve as emotional reminders to avoid repeating the actions that led me to that place.

However, staying in that state usually creates a negative value situation. It leaves me feeling worse than I started. I usually recognize that and then shift focus to something else like planning next steps to create better outcomes in the future or set right whatever it is that I did wrong. My time is typically better spent in a future focused state.

I think the trick is to recognize when self compassion would have a higher value than self loathing. We can do the work to try to recognize when we are processing thoughts of either state and then actively shift into a thought pattern that better serves our needs. There are times when too much self compassion can keep us from making important changes we need to make in our lives.

As with all things, balance is key. Knowing where you are and what kind of thoughts and feelings you need to apply to shift to where you want to go is key. If you are a fan of physics, this application of various thoughts and feelings to create motion might resonate with you. We are discussing 'e motions', are we not?