i wanted to send you a song i was listening to

but i didn't

then i wanted to send you an article i was reading

but didn't ofc

it's strange, because i suddenly seem to have a surge of feeling for you that had become less intense recently. also, simultaneously, feelings of anger about some things you said and how you said them. glad to be talking to (another) therapist tomorrow, maybe that will help in sorting some things out for myself

i keep having difficulty understanding that it is a bad idea to send you stuff. it makes me laugh at myself because it should be something so simple, but i keep thinking: but you would like it! but you would like to hear/read X! we are just people! it's forced to not (be allowed to) share these things!