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ArisingNight
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Member Since Dec 2019
Location: in my private hell
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Default Dec 19, 2019 at 02:43 PM
 
Some of the experiences you are writing about are quite familiar to me. I remember I had many posters of my favourite bands in my bedroom, and sometimes I felt they were watching over me. Of course I knew it was just fantasy, I knew pictures would not watch my every move, yet... sometimes I felt awkward.

Having an imaginary soulmate is, well, not surprising if you are lonely. I have always had imaginary friends, some of them resembled - or were inspired by - existing persons. Of course I have always known they are imaginary, yet it felt so incredibly awkward and abnormal.

Others hearing your thoughts... hm, I read somewhere that developing AvPD had very much to do with over-controlling, hypercritical parents who always belittle, ignore and/or humiliate you.

I remember my mother always was sure she knew what I was thinking about. She kept saying "It's written on your nose!" or "I can read it on your face!" (Sometimes she saw things written on my nose that were completely different from my actual thoughts, but never mind. She could read my mind and no matter what the truth was, HER version was always the truth.)

I am pretty sure this is what led to me being convinced that even strangers on the street can read my thoughts and know what I am thinking about (and of course, judge me for being so stupid and ridiculous and bad).

About the hearing thing... well, I don't know if my experiences relate to yours? You see, I am a rather musical person and can remember whole songs or my favourite music pieces. Sometimes I listen to music in my head - this is not auditory hallucination, I hear it with my inner ear. But once, I heard one of my biggest favourites in my head... and it was so loud that I seriously got scared that others around me - on the bus - would hear it!
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