It's like TishaBuv said. It's not what happens to us that matters, as much as it's how we respond to it.

The only thing we can control, unfortunately, is how we respond. We can't control other people's decisions or actions, and we can't control the way events or circumstances happen.

Remember the Serenity Prayer? I take out the 'God' bit, and repeat the rest of the prayer to myself a lot. As a reminder to try to stay grounded no matter how horrendous my life seems at the moment.

I'm not going to tell you that I think you are too hard on yourself. I think that's judgmental when people say that. How do they know? I really don't like it when I hear people say that. It's a way to undermine the other person instead of validate them. Just really bothers me, that phrase, "I think you're too hard on yourself."

I think if you want to respond differently to obstacles as they pop up, you can be really creative and find a way to respond that allows you to release the negative feelings and retain your wisdom and reason. Does that make any sense?