I’ve fallen of a cliff emotionally. My mood has tanked and SI flood me. The needle worked but for some reason (probably psychological stress) I’m drowning. I can’t stop crying. Christmas is always a bad time for me. Bad memories. I broke down talking to the registrar and he has put me on close observations ( I’m IP right now). I’m in a very dangerous head space. I don’t know exactly why now as I felt great after the injection. I did have a couple of very triggering conversations yesterday. Now I’m in trouble. I’m going to stress my family out by being sick for Christmas. But the other option is far worse. I’m feeling too much, too deeply. I can’t cope. I’m overwhelmed. I don’t even think the hospital and staff can stop this rapid decline. Thankfully I’m too exhausted to run away, but I want to. I’m trapped. Words fail. It’s bad, really bad.