Haha. Maybe it's because I'm also a grammar nerd, but your writing make me think you are above average attractive.

The things you describe about your manners would not put off people aren't stuck up. I was known to be eccentric at school but since I was willing to help people with homework and tutoring, classmates tended to be nice to me most of the time and that affected my perception of my status socially after school.

Not noticing sarcasm or jokes is not usally a big deal so long as you don't react in a way that offends people like correcting them unnecessarily because you mistook a figurative statement for a literal one. Another issue I noticed is that self-deprecating statements should not be taken literally. Once I said I'm not a great cook because it wasn't a priority in my life, and someone who heard that treated me as if I was imcompetent and I ended up shutting him out.

I think your awareness of your behaviors is a good sign. I am also socially awkward, but it got easier in my 30s because I became more comfortable with who I am and my priorities changed. I think it should get better for you. Even better if you find others similar in intellect or interests to hang out with.

One thing you might watch out for as a clever, well-read person is to not have a habit of giving advice regularly when people haven't asked for it. It's ok in forums, but in personal interaction it makes people think you think you are smarter than them. I don't know if that is someting you do. I dealt with an unusually bad know-it-all a while back, and since then I consciously refrain from giving friends and acquaintances advice because I realize how off-putting it is. Just to let you know in case it is relevant to you.

I wish you lots of luck. Keep up the good writing!