Yup. I don't think it's any grand universal design or anything... I think we just, psychologically, end up being drawn to people (and situations) in certain ways that are hard to see until we've dealt with them. (The idea makes sense in my head, but I'm not sure how to articulate it clearly!)

One thing that I thought was interesting was how this plays out with jobs. For awhile, I kept reading that we unconsciously pick jobs that are like our (dysfunctional) families. I thought, "that's crazy! When I go to an interview, I may not even meet all the people on the team, let alone have a clear idea of all the dynamics with people involved. Plus, jobs can change, and you can't predict that."

But, at my (dysfunctional!) job... I noticed something. The people who seemed to have the most health and confidence, quickly identified that the job was dysfunctional and moved on! They didn't torture themselves by staying in a bad situation. Versus me... who has learned really well to tolerate bad situations (thanks, family!) who has been there for more than 10 years now (ughhhh.)

It's interesting to think about for sure. I wish I knew how to quickly develop the healthy traits I need to not get sucked into situations that I don't want to be in!