I texted him (intentionally) yesterday. I sent him an article I liked and thought he would like. He responded (to my surprise) by saying he also liked that author, and then we chatted a little bit. I sent him a video of an artist I like (I got enthusiastic, haha), we talked about it, at some point he stopped responding. The next morning he texted me that he had to stop replying, and that he had to ask me to do the same. It was a really nice, empathetic message. He said that having private contact between the two of us would too likely lead to complicated, unhealthy situations, which could lead to sadness on my part and also on his, apart from this not being ethically appropriate.

It was really nice for me to read that he also said it would/could lead to sadness on his part. It feels in a way like a very gentle, friendly break-up. I don't feel told off at all, but respected.

I took the opportunity to respond by saying that I understood of course, that I missed him and that I found it hard, but reirating I understood etc. It was good to be able to express that to him (missing him), even in just a text.

The reason I texted him was 1) I wanted to very badly, to be in touch with him, 2) I thought it might lead to him telling me clearly that we cannot have contact like this, which I felt I needed to hear. And I think he did that in the kindest imaginable way.

I deleted his number as well as the e-mail where I had his number saved. Now towards spending less hours a day thinking about him (although I am going to listen to a few more sappy love songs along the way ).