My husband was going through some things and I chalked it up to stress for a long time as he was in a PhD program. I noticed him getting more distant from me and he was also getting extremely angry over little things. I just gave him space and tried to remain quiet and patient and planed to talk once’s he completed the program. He confessed to me a few months ago that he was being treated for depression. He said it wasn’t my fault at first but now he blames everyone close to him including me. He tells me he loves me but needs to take care of himself and says he will always love me but doesn’t know if he wants this marriage any longer. I am not normally a snooper but was looking at his phone so I could get him a new case that fit. When I turned it on, there was an unread text from a woman that said “It was good to see you”. This woman was his former tutor who moved out of the country. I thought “Was she in town and he saw her and didn’t tell me?’ I read their texts and he told her he is not doing well and we have been growing apart for years. It turns out they Skyped. I had no idea. I confronted him and asked him how often he does this. He was extremely angry and said he needs to talk to people about what he is going through and told me he has to put extra protection on his phone for his privacy. I just don’t know what to do. We been married for 25 years. I am fighting and have been but it is getting so difficult. He doesn’t want to see a therapist with me. He did say 86% of couples who go to therapy together divorce.