It's also important to remember that not every person with money is an asshole, and not everyone who doesn't is noble. That's one of the themes Victor Hugo explores so beautifully in Les Miserables. You're in a toxic environment and a narcissist is of course going to think that they earned all their privileges and that anyone who has less is less. Narcissists are only capable of thinking in terms of a rigid hierarchy of value. Do some research on malignant narcissism and you'll see the behavior of the people you've endured in a new context.


Go ahead and wear the campaign T-shirt whether they like it or not. You'll win the respect of fellow supporters and might even bring undecided voters on board.

We live in a culture that demands that people mask our pain and fake confidence even when we don't feel it. Inevitably, when we do feel pain or worthlessness or anything else, we falsely believe we're the only ones int he world feeling that way. That sense of isolation is as damaging as it is untrue. It wasn't until I came to this forum that I really understood just how common that is.

It's essential to understand the difference between cognitive and emotional empathy. Cognitive empathy means understanding, for example, the cause-and-effect relationship between an event happening and a person's emotional response to it. There's a lot more to it, of course, and there's plenty of info out there about it. Emotional empathy is really feeling it when you see how someone else feels, like getting upset when you see someone else crying. A sociopath or narcissist has cognitive empathy, but no emotional empathy; this allows them the knowledge of how to exploit other people without feeling any remorse for the pain they cause. A person on the spectrum or with ADHD can feel another person's pain, they just can't always understand the why and how. In addition, the issue might be with having trouble reading a person's facial expression and body language, or not picking up on subtle hints. NTs might misinterpret this as a lack of empathy when it's just a communication glitch, which is probably where the nonsense got started that people n the spectrum lack empathy. My experience, with myself (though probably subclinical) and others who were definitely on the spectrum (diagnosed or not) is that the emotional empathy level is far higher than the general population, once they have the understanding of what's happening.

Absolutely make sure a date is capable of empathy. This is an issue I've faced too and have had so many bad relationships and friendships with narcissists, including with a sibling. My semi-stalker ex is, I'm quite sure, borderline personality disorder. Going back to the mention of Les Mis, I've thought for a long time that early on I'll have the person watch the musical version with me. Anyone who can make it through the whole thing without a box of tissues nearby isn't capable of feeling pain on behalf of anybody else's suffering, and is not BF or GF material, or friend material for that matter.