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I'm grateful to you for this post, bpcyclist.
I'm on Lamictal, Pristiq (AD), Klonopin, Cogentin, and the most recent one is Zyprexa. I was disturbed because I felt that Lamictal had dulled my personality to a degree. Not terribly, though.
Enter Zyprexa.
My mind is substantially quieter and the paranoia I was experiencing seems to be mostly gone. The intense, relentless anxiety/agitation is about half of what it was, which is very encouraging.
And I have about 1/2 of my personality - the worst part of it is that I am an artist, and my ability to imagine, to create is completely flat. I'm especially sensitive to color and have always been fulfilled by my ability to create ecstatic colors.
Well, now I sit there, looking at all the paint colors and it is all just...so what? Red is just red. There's blue mixed with lime green and, umm...yeah...I kinda forgot what I was doing and is it really important, anyway? Actually, I just want to sleep.
The whole thing would be heartbreaking to me...if I could even feel heartbroken.
All in all, I sure wish I had a great answer. Is Lamictal a possibility for you? Vrylar, maybe?
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