Please take care of yourself first. I would not worry about him at this point and enjoy the fact that you are free to do what you want. If you want him back as a friend, I would reconsider this thought given the fact he hurt you. Friends are there in one's time of need. You don't even know where he is now so just let him go for now and heal thyself. You may be lucky to not have gotten any further in the relationship with him if he did this to you once before. I would think of your situation as a blessing and move on. Why don't you enjoy your holidays by entertaining yourself or be with family or friends who truly care about you? I found out the hard way myself but remember that you must put yourself as a priority first. No matter what happens in the future, you are important and worth it to put yourself first and foremost. Please keep writing here or you can pm me if you need to vent. I hope your situation improves and that you feel better about yourself and your situation.