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floral85
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Member Since: Dec 2019
Location: Florida
Posts: 4
3 yr Member
Trig Dec 23, 2019 at 04:26 PM
 
Does anyone else struggle with "false memories"?

So, when I was 16 I babysat this baby and I remember holding him and thinking wow all of my problems just seem to fade away while holding him.
When I got to babysitting him more and changing his diaper, intrusive thoughts would pop up.

I was SO anxious over this. I remember searching the internet for days to see what was going on, why those thoughts were there. I remember looking up unwanted thoughts.

But now, like 15 years later, I'm sitting here like, "Okay, what if I did do something and don't remember?"

The reason why I'm thinking this now is I remember my mom talking to the baby's mom because his mom and dad were going through some separating thing or breaking up, something like that. I remember the baby's mom saying something about how the baby was "red down there" and I remember my mom telling the baby's mom, "Oh he doesn't want to say anything like that." So I'm assuming he meant something by it.

So now in my mind, I keep trying to think what if I did do something and just don't remember? What if I thought all these years it was just unwanted thoughts but somehow got scared I did something and thought of it as thoughts instead?

I wish I could stop overthinking. I do remember seeing a counselor after this and describing it as unwanted thoughts.

Last edited by bluekoi; Dec 23, 2019 at 11:07 PM.. Reason: Add triggger icon.
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