Quote:
Originally Posted by LilyMop
Yes I have experienced all of the above. I try not to volunteer for things anymore because the task will most definitely become mine when I do. Recently I had to be really direct about an issue that was going on for more than a year and it has been stressful ever since. Yes they lightened my workload and spread it more fairly... but there was also some retaliation as a result. So I’ve learned that speaking up and setting boundaries comes with consequences. People often do not like it when you do it and you have to be able to tolerate the discomfort of that.
I wish I had a good answer to all of this. I’ve become better at kindly telling people no up front when I can. Whenever possible, I will leave the room and act really busy as soon as a topic comes up that I want no part of. Lol, you should see me running frantically up and down the halls some days... I also started limiting my interactions with people I just can’t trust. I stay friendly but I am very cautious.
I used to always be willing to help everybody but not anymore. I really enjoy being part of a productive team... but unless we are the bosses or managers, we really can’t do much to influence that. I hope things get better for you. You are right that communication and setting strong boundaries is very important.
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I am picturing that... you running down the hallways. Oh boy. I can relate! I don't know what to do. I know exactly what you're saying. It's like you're damned if you do speak up, and damned if you don't. I'd much rather speak up though and face those consequences than be miserable, resentful and bitter at my job all day long. That's the choice, right? And I feel bitter right now because of what I've allowed to happen.. and I feel it's all my own fault for volunteering my help in the first place! And they expect you to be a team player, but then when you are, you get overloaded, and when you're not, you get criticized. I feel like either way it rolls, you can't win unless you're in management. And my boss? He does nothing all day long. He even complained to me that I had him working today on something (that only he can do, not me). He is SO lazy, and I am working my butt off.
I feel like I need a radical change in attitude, or else I'm going to become miserable. I just wish I could make that change. The change of acceptance: this is how it is in the working world. It's unfair. You need strong boundaries. And you have to look out for yourself. Bottom line. I'm much more idealistic and think, "it shouldn't be this way. It could be SO much better if only this, or that.... ". I need to cut out the idealistic thinking and get real.
Sorry for babbling, and thanks for your reply !
