Likewise, i was incestuly r***ed at 11 and then by a neighbor at 12 with some other girls. the first one happened while my mom was gone for 6 weeks - so it happened a lot. I got quiet, cried all the time, turned within, was depressed,
****wrote about suicide in school - no one really knew what do to - they just clucked their tongues and left me alone. I remember teachers staring at me at breaks. i stopped caring about things and turned to fantasy. I read non-stop (to hide).... this is the only part i remember - everything else was told to me... I even forgot my mom left - she had to tell me***
The first flashback was at 16 when suddenly i saw myself as my abuser would have (long story) and that was really scary for me. when my abuser moved away for 6 months when i was 12, my grades soared! I made honor roll for the first (and only) time in my life.
then the next r*** (by the neighbor) happened to 3 us girls and we had been drugged. after that it was like I was as pure as the driven snow when we moved away- it was like starting over fresh. I couldn't have been more prim or propper if i'd been raised in princess school.
But slowly, things started surfacing.
oh and i wasn't told all that stuff about my mom and the depression until about 4 years ago. when i had the first flachback i did go back into depression then and my dr tried to get me treated. but my fam didn't believe in therapy (heh, wonder why, eh!?)