thanks for the reminder TerryL, it's a great epiphany to obtain
I recently was reminded in therapy, that my mother wasn't really my mom because she couldn't be due to her own struggles severe issue-- , the same with my dad. They both for some strange reasons let me know in "one on one" talks of some of their traumas as children when I was a teenager ((different times and I never mentioned the one to the other)).
I would like to add what my current t reminded me of if it's ok? - even though we may have understanding of other's suffering and reasons- it doesn't excuse the abuse we endured nor did we deserve it. And it's ok to feel hurt, abandoned, etc. But not to suffer with it.
It's a great feeling at times to have perceptive in this sense, and is very true-- and in a sense the concept can be applied to other humans in the world.