So when I last posted on here a helpful person told me to post on here before I thought about cutting myself. So here it goes.....I have had a really bad weekend and had to talk with one of my professors on why I have been skipping classes. I don’t think she understands which seems reasonable in her position. It was just really hard for me to confront that and I hate myself for even putting myself in that position. I guess I am just self destructive in more than just cutting myself. When I'm with other people either I feel numb or hatful of myself. Everything I do just turns into hating myself--I really try not to think of it and only positive things but I just keep coming back to being a failure at life. Every part of my life I seem to mess up. I have never really had a lot of friends and am a shy person. This is probably due to my low self-esteem because I feel I am ugly and obese--Which in turn makes me anti-social. but the sad thing is, is that I try to make friends and talk to guys. I have never had a boyfriend (big surprise) and haven’t even had a guy interested in me--not even held hands! I know I'm just ranting about stuff people don’t want to hear because it is SO pathetic. But with mixing all of my problems from my past and present just really makes me want to hurt myself because I hate myself so much right now.