Lately, I have learned to look at disappointments as the universe had another plan for my life. A disappointment can mean another opportunity is there for you instead if you are in an open and positive state of mind. For instance, when we are unable to be with some of our family during the holidays (I will not be seeing any of my extended family this year), then we can have an extremely relaxing holiday--no airports, crowds, etc. Sometimes our culture tells us we should do this and that but when we look deep down inside we find that those things have not been making us happy. I spent very little time doing holiday shopping and cooking this year and am feeling so much more relaxed because of it.


Also, I am becoming better at focussing on myself and not others. We have to find happiness in the things we do for ourselves. Looking to others for happiness can be dangerous because sometimes our friends and family want completely different things than we do or they are just at a different stage in their lives than we are. It is so important to accept others as they are and if it is not our thing then just do our own thing. We can check in with them but we are not the director of others lives nor should they feel they can direct ours unless we mutually agree to certain plans. I found the transition from motherhood (where I was directing my childrens lives all of the time) to my children's "adulthood" very trying. I was living too much of my life through them. It was unhealthy for all of us. I have made so much progressed cutting that emotional chord.