Tallulahgirl - one thing my therapist has helped me see, for myself (don't know if it will apply to you) - is that "anger" was my go-to emotion. It was the first thing that would always pop up. NOT how she described it - but how I think of it, is, my anger is a mask I've been using, hiding behind. So one of the things I'm working on is trying to dig out what emotion is buried under the anger. Hard to describe. So ok, something happens, I get enraged in 2 seconds. I look at what happened - and first thought is, yeah, rage is justified. Who wouldn't get angry over that? But....it isn't the anger that's the issue. It's my immediate high response that is the issue. The strength of my rage. So then, I ask, ok....what led to that? Does any of that make any sense to you? Me, learning how to understand why I react the way I do, is helping me to control myself. It puts me inside my head, gives me something to think about / focus on, rather than the person or thing that enraged me this time.