I don't have any great ideas...if I did, I'd be practicing them. I just want to say that I understand how you feel. Would I like to live to be 100? Yes. Would I like to live to be 100 when I've lost everyone and everything dear to me...and I'm painfully lonely and afraid? I can't say that yes, I would. I've had so many losses already, with so many more to come, it's a great mystery to me as to how I'm supposed to withstand things.
I hope that life becomes more golden for you, for me, and for others like us.