I agree with Christina. Reinforcing helplessness will only spiral you down. To start with push yourself a little to get out/do computer work one day of the week. Gaining mastery over that seemingly huge task will encourage you, and enable you to do more. You are stronger than you believe. I know it must feel unbearable, but start to believe in yourself. Keep us posted. It’s not going to turn around overnight, but the downward slide can stop here.
Btw I used to do my food shopping with sunglasses on while listening to an iPod. It took all I had to get through. Now I couldn’t care less what I’m wearing, or what others are doing and thinking. You will improve. Hang in there.