I really want to meditate but I feel a deep resistance to it. It’s as though on some subconscious level my heart and soul is pushing it away. It’s not simply the lack of focus or a lack of willingness. I truly enjoy meditation, especially guided meditation. I was just now trying to do a guided meditation again and I felt myself putting up a big wall. At one point I started to break down and cry and then the wall went back up. Has anybody experienced this before?