Quote:
Originally Posted by LilyMop
@ Have Hope
I am right there with you in the very same boat. I can’t just up and leave my job. I would love to. I’ve even done some interviews these past few months and nothing has worked out so far. We have commitments and we can’t always just walk away from our commitments. That’s how it is for me right now. I hope one day a new opportunity opens up but I haven’t found it yet.
I am working on trying to just “give up” my need to control my stressful work situation. I hate to even use the words “give up” because it’s not in my nature to “give up.” But I think that whether I stay at my current job or find something else, I will never find peace if I don’t accept that I can’t control the chaos at work. What if I did find another job that seemed great and then chaos blows up again one day? We all bring our personalities to work. Not everybody’s personality meshes well and some personalities are just downright toxic. We will never escape the toxic people. If I do ever have the joy of finding a lovely new job... I hope I have worked through my own issues enough that I can handle things a bit better. My main issues are boundary setting and communication.
So I’m trying to visualize myself throwing my hands up in the air. As I run through the halls to escape other people’s work piling on top of me I’m going to just throw my hands up in the air. 🤪
I hope you’re able to relax enough to enjoy your day a little. Snuggle and hug your pets and loved ones and have faith in yourself that you will tackle the work stuff when you get back to the office. I have faith in you. ❤️ |
HUGS to you @
LilyMop.
I know exactly what you mean. I have been trying to do the same. I mean, toxic people and toxic bosses exist in practically every workplace. I have to learn how to accept and deal with them. I can't just up and leave my job simply because there's someone who is toxic to my mental health. I feel I have to learn how to deal with them better, for my own sanity. They're going to exist wherever I go... that won't change, but I can change how I react to them and how I deal with them.
Someone informed me of a concept once I really liked. It is called "radical acceptance". They used the term to help me accept what was truly unacceptable to me once years ago -- a life situation had turned my whole world upside down, which could not have been helped, and which was completely out of my hands to control. She said I needed to practice "radical acceptance" of my life circumstances. It stuck with me all these years.
And so similar to you and to what you're saying, I feel I have to radically accept a work environment that is less than ideal to me. I am very idealistic by nature, and I think that hurts me in the end in many ways... with people, in my relationships and at work. I can also be very black and white in my thinking when it comes to right and wrong.... I am stubborn and adamant about my ideal vision of how things "should be". But all that does? It only makes me unhappier.
If I can accept that my workplace has its faults, its problems and issues, but that it IS serving a purpose for me, whether that be improved skills, an improved resume, improved coping skills, improved management skills, improved boundaries or even just a regular paycheck that pays rent and the bills, well, its serving a purpose.
I need to come off my idealistic visions of all that "should be" and accept what is.
So I've been thinking the same things as you... and you're right. Chaos will exist in yet another work environment..... the only thing we truly CAN truly control is ourselves and our own reactions to what happens to us. We cannot control anyone else or a company's work culture. Unless of course we are the CEO, HR or executive upper management.
I thank you for your post and for this reminder.... I am so glad you wrote what you did. It solidifies for me exactly what I need to change within myself, and within my thought process.
I do feel better today, thank God.
I hope you are feeling well today yourself! Hugs and love to you!
