Another word for invalidating someone and putting all the blame on them is ‘gaslighting”. Wow,I have so much trouble with that. For me, It s about setting boundaries or avoiding the person if possible. Lately I am trying to get my own neds met instead of trying to change the people who do this. I find the males in my family rely on this technique quite a bit. They obviously dont want to help. Duh, why punish myself by engaging with them!