After two months I was feeling better, doing almost everything I used to. That is what I was about to post.
But today they found her body. In theory this changes nothing, it was exactly as I had imagined. She went into the woods and took her poison.
But my brain doesn't care. Now it is more REAL. The pain is renewed, the tears flowing again, the world is bleak again.
Thank you universe, thank you so much. How nice to make me find my soulmate and then take her away.
Thank you all for your kind support, now and then.