Quote:
Originally Posted by Emily Fox Seaton
Terrible. My mom passed in 2010 and I spent about 2010 to 2015 dealing with the estate.
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Same. Heres a chronological list of things that happened to me between this decade.
2011
-my mom announces her pregnancy to a third kid after getting knocked up. Neither me or my other brother were happy to hear this news.
-my mothers behavior changes the same day and she becomes the ***** that I know and hate to this very day.
-in the summer of that year, he is born.
-also in that year, my mom loses custody of my little brother.
-7th grade starts and so does the bullying.
2012
-I start dating this girl who my family disapproves of.
-I start engaging in risky and criminal behavior.
2019
-on my 21st birthday in March, my litle brother decides to start ****ing with me. I get pissed off and then my grandfather starts threatening me that his dad would beat my ***.
-then when I go to a restaurant for the night, some jerk bumps into me without saying excuse me.
-then when were on the way home, my mom swipes through my phone and finds embarrassing stuff on it.
-the next day, my little brother starts ****ing with me again, but this time my mother is going crazy on me.
-also in March, my friend gets to see me, so we smoke weed and drink together, he goes full retard and freaks the **** out and after we took him home, he got put into rehab. Also whole he was here, my mom made my spend my own *******ed birthday money on him, my friend and her greedy *** self. I tell my aunt about this in the hopes that shell ruin her one more time for me, but she never does. She even told my grandmother about it.
-that same month, my depression starts to kick in and so does my violent thoughts. I join a mental health website for support.
These next set of events I cant out my finger on as to exactly when they happened. But my best guess from memory would be between April - June.
-I visit the dentist and I hear the bad news that Im gonna need many more fillings after one or two years of painstaking dental work. I actually cry for the first time in a while.
-I get the idea of daring my moms old friend whos around my age to move out, but she never responded to my friend requests or messages until months later, towards the end of the year.
-my grandmother finds where I stashed all of my weapons for all these years and takes them. When I found out about this, I got so pissed off that I threw a ladder in the swimming pool.
-when my mom sees the ladder in the pool, she gets pissed off and starts screaming at me.
Possible trigger:
-with the old house locked where I got the weapons from, I started breaking an old sprinkler pope against a cinderblock and anvil to try to make a weapon but my mom pops up from out of nowhere and takes it from me. I try to get it back but she refuses. It gets to the point where I knock over a cardboard box and she starts screaming at me to pick it up, so I do, but accidentally cut myself on something in it pretty badly. Then she starts filming me, so I slap the phone out of her hand, she then picks it up and continues filming me, so I decide to take a walk down the road.
-I find my old Android, but when I tried to plug it in, it wouldnt charge right. I then find out it was because I hadnt charged it in such a long time, so I get a new battery, and, not knowing how to take the old battery out, I end up ripping out the battery connector and possibly damaging the charging port as well. I give up trying to fix it, so I just take out the SIM card. I plan on getting a SIM reader or possibly a new Android phone to put it into.
-this is where things get really weird. Around April or May I really start losing it on these birds (I think theyre called band-tailed pigeons) that would this highly irritating HOOT HOOT HOOT noises that would piss me off to the point where I would scream my lungs out at these birds and throw **** at them - anything I could get my hands on, and I would always miss them because they were always so high up. They first started off only doing it in the mornings, but they eventually progressed to doing this ALL DAY. And after they flew away they would make this retarded noise that would only piss me off even more. It got the point where I stole a pellet rifle from the old house to kill them with, but failed to kill a single one of them. At first, I could barely figure out how to work the damn thing, because the barrel wouldnt go down, but I eventually managed to get it to by accident. I then put the pellet in backwards by accident so I ramroded it out with a straightened coathanger, but I couldnt get it perfectly straight, so I just rammed it in there out of frustration and it came out. Then when I first went outside, they stopped making the retarded noise, as if they knew that I was gonna kill them, so I set the rifle down. Then later I remember finding one on the ground, so I looked through the scope to see it, but the problem? The scope was too close in. And I couldnt adjust it either. I mustve shot the damn thing two or three times before going in for a final shot trying to look above the scope as a last ditch act of frustration, and it ****ing flew off. I then looked at the scope and saw all these screws in it and couldnt figure out how I could get the tools to disassemble it, so I just ripped it off out of frustration, finding something out again by accident. For the rest of that day, I used the sights, and it still failed me, no matter how good of a shot I had. One time it was up in a tree and shot and it flew off, another time one was on a powerline and people were on the porch for Easter (IIRC) and I remember holding fire because I didnt want to **** up the powerline shooting at this thing, so it either flew to a tree or just flew off completely. Then another time I was in the backyard and saw another one high up in a tree, so I aimed, it saw me and flew off, so I tried shooting it in mid air, reloaded once or twice, and BAM, it was gone. The last attempt I made was during the evening just before sunset when I saw one or two out in the trees many yards away that they were barely visible, but you could still hear them. I mustve shot two or three times and missed every one. So, I decided to call it quits for the day, because the pellet gun I was using was a piece of ****.
My mom caught me shooting it and started acting all nice all of a sudden, but then I later found out the dumbass thought I had a real gun and she and my grandfather were at my bedroom door looking all worried and ****, so I told them it was a pellet gun so they picked it up and took it back.
-also around this time, planes were also constantly buzzing through the sky to where I could hear them in my bedroom. I got so pissed off to where I was screaming at them and flipping them off.
-also around this time, these idiots driving ATVs suddenly appeared through my neighborhood, and they would go back and forth through my driveway and they were so loud that I could even hear them in my bedroom. I got so pissed off that I started yelling at them and flipping them off as they went by.
-also around this time, the animals started to get extremely annoying outside when I wanted peace of mind and wouldnt get out of my way. I threw a shoe at one of the cats and missed and it ****ing fell in a puddle of mud, completely ruining it.
-I also start calling the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, but at one point, some ***** who I was talking to wouldnt stop telling me to take my medicine and I decided to kindly conclude that conversation and hang up on her. I then called back and the same ***** answered, so I left again and looked online to see if my counselor was available, but I found that they were closed, so I just started crying hysterically because I was in so much distress to where even my mom was concerned about me.
-the chihuahua puppy ate all of my Easter chocolates and **** on my bed.
-then I knock over a soda can filled with my piss (dont ask me why), stinking up my whole room. Then I ask them if they had any Lysol or decontaminants, but they said no, so I had to use a rag and a bottle of bathroom spray just to clean it up.
-then my grandmother tells me that I had an appointment with the nurse on Monday. When Monday came, she said she never told me that.
-then, with all of this going on, from the planes to the birds to the cats and dogs to the ATVs et cetera, I start to lose my mind and think that I could be cursed with bad luck or that God could be mad at me. I called up my pastor and told him about this and he prayed for me. I even started praying myself, but this was around the time when I noticed severe personality and mental status changes. Also of note is that when
I could almost hear a female voice in my head taunting me. I start screaming until my throat gets sore, then screaming some more and crying hysterically to where my mom and grandparents start treating me nicely for once.
-I then try posting this to a mental health forum and noticed that it didnt post or it was just pooft gone. I had the pasta saved on my notes, but accidentally deleted it and started screaming more.
-I also developed this nasty habit of punching holes in the walls of my bedroom.
-I also redeveloped this other habit of breaking **** in the yard, with one time my mom yelling at me to pick up the broken shards of glass from the beer bottles I busted.
-also around this period, things got so bad to where I tried to have myself committed twice, with the second succeeding for less than a day before getting picked up by medicaid transport, just to get away from my family.
-around June, I went to go visit my grandmother (fathers mother) and my aunt was commenting on how emaciated I looked due to Adderall usage. I was 58 128 - 135 lbs. at the time. I was definitely malnourished and brfore my grandmother came to pick me up, my mom was telling me to kill myself and all kinds of other ****.
-also before I visited my grandmother, I started getting this severe pruritus at night after taking Tylenol PM to where I couldnt go to sleep and it would only subside once I took one of those salt baths. Otherwise nothing worked. I told my doctor about this and they prescribed me Zyrtec pills.
-sometime in May, I made a thread on 4chans /k/ board which resulted in me getting severely denigrated and **** on by the whole community. It was really hurtful the things they said.
-after seeing my social worker, she sets me up with voc rehab and college, but somebody called off my university application.
-I also try to apply for some apartment place at this mental health center, but get my application rejected after what my grandmother told them forced me into a corner that they tricked me into during the interview concerning my anger problems.
-another time I get mad after my mom refuses to spend my disability money on me, so I destroy all their potted plants and put another hole in the wall, so my grandmother gets really pissed at me, and my mom does too and she starts recording me (again) and I bump into her and she shoves me, so I try to get into my room, but she slams the door open and tries to throw a pencil at me but misses.
-I eventually get taken off of Adderall after they also find Marijuana in my system.
As for July, it was up and down. As for August, that was the month where I got committed after calling the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline twice telling them I wanted to kill my family, and one time the police visited me after I gave them my location and both times I got on the line with this crisis number and they told my counselor about this, who then committed me between August 26th - September 9th. Also in August prior to getting committed, I download Grindr and meet this black guy on there, we meet up, he starts giving me weird vibes, so I get scared and jump out the car and walk ove a mile to home, all the while intoxicated with police cars passing by me five times. I still got away with that one somehow. By late October, I made a really incriminating and embarrassing post on an anonymous confessions site. By late November, I finally received my first bit of good news for the entire year from my new counselor that I can ask my doctor about getting my disability money put in my name instead of hers. So I call her up, get in touch with the nurse, she directs me to another lady who tells me she can get me and my counselor in touch with another lady who can help me petition the court. By early December, I see my counselor, she tells me I should be able to have an appointment with her in a week or two, but I havent been able to get in touch with her since I saw her. And on Christmas eve, I got into a huge argument with my mom and grandparents over me breaking and throwing stuff in the yard and my mom refusing to buy me **** with my own disability money.
And yeah, thats how this year went for me.