Lilymop, my guess would be that the "wall" is holding back a whole bunch of pain, and that's why you start to cry when you approach it. The spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle calls it "the pain body".


I've had a similar wall show up during attempts at meditation, and I experience it as made of fear. On the few occasions when I've been able to hang in there with it, the fear ultimately dissolves into calm, more or less.


Best Holiday wishes to you.