Well, I am pretty self-centered (something I need to constantly work on), so I tend to turn away people for constantly talking about my problems (even here on the boards).

Try an experiment. Instead of self-censoring just be your true self and see what happens. It won't be less painful if your close friends or family leave you behind. It will be more painful. Because rejection is one sided and permanent.

I'm sorry you feel stupid. It's hard to be vulnerable with other people because we never know if they'll accept us for who we really are.