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Originally Posted by Crook32
All the problems I have had the last 5 years originated with severe depression and seeking treatment. I have just recently realized that I am blaming myself for getting sick and seeking treatment. I feel like the hospital ruined my life. My T has been trying to convince me that I had no other options. She did say though that I went back to work too soon each time which didn’t help matters. So how do I forgive myself and stop blaming myself for my illness? Logically I know I can’t control that I get depressed. I mean there are things I can do to help lessen the effect it has on me but I have an illness and need to accept that. I need to accept myself. It is proving harder than you would think. Any words of wisdom to help me get unstuck and able to move forward and not beat myself up so much?
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I totally connect with you on this and have a very similar story that I won't bore you with. I strongly recommend that you consider learning about mindfulness. It has the capacity to transform your ability not to live in the past (or the future). The two best writers on the topic broadly in my opinion are Thich Nhat Hanh and Pema Chodron. Both are Buddhists, but you need not be Buddhist to benefit. For example, I am a fairly devout Christian, but I espouse a number of Buddhist (non-religious aspects) teachings. Especially mindfulness and the power of breathing. You might search around on amazon or wherever you buy books and tapes and see what might interest you. Both authors write very simply and are a joy to read.