Thanks @bpcyclist for this post
''Expectations are resentments which haven't happened yet''
I think that is right on in many cases. Especially when parents voice ''disappointment'' to the ''baby'' when old enough to absorb that.....that their new, perfect baby is the ''wrong'' sex for example which they expressed to me.. thanks a bunch for that (and all the other examples of a profound lack of appreciation, why bother having a cub

I would appreciate it if any replies are supportive of me, the OP, thanks (and not about telling me how I ''should'' feel etc)